We’re going to need to get a Clinton-style denial by Vance, “I did not have sexual relations with that couch.”

This couch is approved by JD Vance.

That’s because there is video evidence of JD Vance, Trump’s VP pick, fucking multiple couches. Including, I’m told, a lazy boy.

The Associated Press has apparently retracted a fact-check published yesterday with the headline, “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch.” As of Thursday morning, the article page displayed a “page unavailable” error message.

The fact-check references a few joke social media posts that have been circulating that claim the Republican vice presidential nominee wrote in his book Hillbilly Elegy about having sex with a couch.

So, what I’m hearing is there isn’t any proof he didn’t have sexual relations with a couch?