- cross-posted to:
- texas@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- texas@lemmy.world
A Texas mother was taken into custody Tuesday after police alleged her 22-month-old child died when she left the infant in a car outside a Corpus Christi school on one of the hottest days of the year.
The mother, 33-year-old Hilda Ann Adame, was jailed on charges of causing serious bodily injury to a child and child endangerment/abandonment with imminent bodily injury, according to a Corpus Christi Police Department incident report.
It was not clear how long the infant had been in the car before the baby was found unresponsive, according to the incident report.
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This shit is so sad. I watched a video a few years ago explaining how exhaustion can lead to something like this happening, and it went into detail on how the brain tricks you into thinking that you really did drop your child off at daycare or wherever. It’s terrifying and tragic.
I accidentally left my baby in the car when I went shopping. I was so exhausted that I had forgotten I brought them. I was in the store about 5min and walked past the baby products and a spark went off I’m my head and bolted out of the store to the car. Luckily it was fall and the outside temps were in the 60s F. Never made that mistake again. I was paranoid after that.
My rental car I have right now has a huge obnoxious pop up and alarm when shutting off the vehicle saying to not forget your kids. Technology can solve this issue easily. Just need to have a device fold old vehicles where you plug it into a power point and when your car turns off have a alarm go off. Could be a good shower gift.
Edit: something like this https://a.co/d/4lvtwBP, guess it’s already been invented. I’m gonna get something like this for all the pregnant ladies I know.
My rental car I have right now has a huge obnoxious pop up and alarm when shutting off the vehicle saying to not forget your kids. Technology can solve this issue easily.
Constant warnings when they aren’t needed just leads to them being ignored with everything else. My in law’s car had one that went off every time, even when the backseat was empty. It was as easy to ignore as all of the other pointless warnings that car had.
Yup, we call it alarm fatigue at work.
The sensor in the front seat of my car is pretty good at knowing when a person is there vs something heavy before it throws the seatbelt alert. I’m sure there is a way to configure these alerts to be fairly accurate. Maybe only do it if the back seatbelt is clicked or if it’s clicked and there is a weight threshold reached.
My car goes off of the back doors. If I opened either of the back doors before I get in and drive, it tells me not to forget to check the back seat when I shut the engine off.
My car has like six beeps when it starts up, an additional one when it’s below freezing. I will never hear the additional one. Then five seconds later, my dash cam makes a chime.
Mine has a stupid “you are responsible for the operation of this vehicle” every time it starts up. The absolute stupidest lawyer notice ever.
Like, are you sure the driver is supposed to drive? Thanks!
That’s insane! I talked to someone who bought a new car and she was like “if I look away from the windshield it beeps at me, it’s very annoying”
Like OKAY I AM STOPPED WHAT DO YOU WANT
“distracted driving is… Blah blah blah, yes I accept! Now get the fuck off my screen so I can choose between Rammstein and Tool.”
Best advice I heard for this scenario is to take something you’ll need, wallet, keys, phone, and place it in the car seat with the baby.
See this is ridiculous to me, because I need the baby more than I need any of that shit. I get that accidents happen, and parent brain is weird, lack of sleep and all that. But it’s a lot easier to notice a car seat and baby not weighing down my arm, than it’s slightly more comfortable without my wallet.
I’d definitely notice a missing shoe though.
Coincidentally, my kid would not.
They also make car seats that alert you if they’re buckled when you turn the car off
I read a really good Op-Ed or magazine article a while ago (last few years) that dove into the subject, including the things you mention. Super heartbreaking and hard to simply blame the parent. Wish I could find it again, just so I could share it in threads like these.
Sometimes it’s an accident, sometimes it’s straight up neglect
Yes, negligence resulting in the death of a person that is unable to care for themselves is a crime. “I forgot, sorry” is an acceptable answer when you didn’t get something on the grocery list. It doesn’t suffice when someone’s life is in your hands.
did you read that article?
Nope, I don’t have a paid subscription.
it’s a really long article that goes into depth on the issue with a lot of anecdotes and research. The gist of it is though that while these people have committed negligence, it happens to people who are otherwise not negligent. It can really happen to anyone, all it takes is some stress or unexpected plans changing.
People should be aware of how easy it can happen to anyone and not pass it off as just bad parents getting what they deserve.
unexpected plans changing.
This is the biggest one I’ve seen.
“Oh X needs to be at Y today so the person who usually takes them to daycare is unavailable, can you take them?”
And then you’re on autopilot, going to work like you do every day. Your body can be trained to do certain things automatically, with basically no mental input on your side. You never take the kid to daycare because your schedule. Then the ONE DAY that your routine changes… It’s one of the most important things you need to keep in mind.
Ever pulled your car into a spot and thought to yourself “wait I don’t remember stopping at any lights HOLY SHIT DID I JUST RUN EVERY RED” but the truth is, no. You did not. Either they are so routine to stop at that you don’t notice on autopilot, or there WERE no reds. You are not a bad or negligent driver. You were on autopilot.
Autopilot doesn’t understand change.
exactly! it’s crazy, like you’re conscious but your mind isn’t recording. And then without that record to reflect on, it’s easy to forget things.
When I drop my kid off I always text some cute thing he did or something but also indicating he is at daycare and when I go in auto even though I drop the kid off and don’t text, I’ll get a text asking about him by the time I’m at work. Its kinda like the whole Japan pointing and calling method they use for safety.
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No one is saying you are free to go. It certainly doesn’t suffice.
It’s not an excuse, it’s an explanation. It can happen to anyone.
I’m not saying anyone in this situation shouldn’t face consequences, but it’s wild how much some people prioritize punishing a parent that just made the most devastating mistake of their life.
I agree.
This person fucked up in the greatest way possible. But they already know that. What’s sitting in jail gonna do?
22mo isn’t a baby or infant, which I only bring up because that’s always the case people envision but you need to really pay attention to this stuff even as your kids get older. It’s so fucking tragic when the stuff happens either way.
Yeah every other story I’ve heard about this says toddler I’m not sure why this headlines is differently
I hesitate to harp on it too much because it’s borderline semantics, but again, I just think it’s good for people to know that it’s not just babies that are at risk. Until a kid can get themselves out of a car on their own comfortably AND has the wherewithal to do so, it’s a risk.
OP’s name checks out.
Do we have a “JFC Lemmy” sub yet? If not, I nominate this post =p
Bruh 💀
Is this one of those post-birth abortions Republicans keep saying are happening?
OPEC arrested after humans die in hot planet
Arrested by who, everyone is dead.
We need to invent immortal robot overlords to keep arresting people after we’re gone, clearly.
Damn I’m just reading there’s been a second one in the same area. 9-month-old.
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https://abcnews.go.com/US/mother-arrested-texas-after-baby-dies-hot-car/story?id=113017274
I don’t get how this keeps happening. Kids, dogs, adults, nobody should be left in a hot car. It’s not a freakin’ mystery, it happens all the time!
It keeps happening because people are human and make mistakes.
Best solution I heard to this is to take something you’ll need… wallet, keys, phone, and stick it in the car seat with the baby.
No forgetting.
There should be a shelf on the hood of the car where you can put the baby carrier so you never take your eyes off the baby
“AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”
Isn’t the baby already the thing you’re not supposed to forget? I don’t have children but if i have my dog in my car, my one and only thought is that: “what if i have to park my car somewhere and leave my dog inside?”
This is another c/fuckcars post right there. If they would have walked/cycled/used transit this couldn’t have happened.
I don’t understand the downvotes, it’s a reasonable observation.
In a place like Texas, it is equivalent to saying “if they just used the teleporter this wouldn’t have happened”.
It essentially shifts discussion off the matter at hand, into abstract, unsolvable issues.
Before you jump on “unsolvable”: I mean this mother, this particular family, has no immediate option to take another course, and not use cars.
SOCIETY should move to a less car dependant future. THIS FAMILY has no power to enact that. Saying “just move” is a statement of privilege.
Sure. But that’s not my point. I just see another reason why the US should really think about there way of transport and see it as what it is: (pretty much) the most deadly form of transit possible.
The societal indictment is exactly how I read it. Why would people take it the worst possible way?
It’s not about taking it a certain way.
Its not contextually relevant to the situation of the article.
It’s not conversationally interesting because it’s practically a platitude.
Its not contextually relevant to the situation of the article.
😶
The “situation” in the article is about one family. Not society. So the comments about infrastructure and car reliance are out of band.
You don’t get to declare a related topic as out of bounds like that.
Because it’s extremely fucked up to assume the person had a choice. Do you generally go around impoverished countries telling children they were stupid for choosing to be born in such a poor area?
That’s not how I read it. Se my other reply.
I’m all in on the fuck cars thing. I’ve wanted to get involved locally advocating for improved public transit and bike lanes. It’s affected how I’ve ranked local candidates while voting.
That said, this happened in Texas. The vast majority of that state is so carbrained that there aren’t any viable alternatives to driving right now, and for a mother with kids it’s so far away it’d take decades of work even if all of the Texas government woke up tomorrow and dedicated themselves to alternatives to cars. I don’t drive and I live in one of the best cities for cyclists in the US and I’d still find it tough to go without a car if I had kids.
In context the fuck cars comment just kinda comes across as victim blamey, tbh.
That argument applies to virtually the entire country, zoned specifically to sell cars, with few recent exceptions. I’m not blaming the mom for that situation, I’m not sure why anyone would think that. This is just another death that seems to at least partially implicate big oil, big auto, and corrupt politicians.
Completely avoidable. This should NEVER happen. That woman SHOULD be in prison.
Edit: Wow. Wasn’t expecting all the downvotes but I’m sticking to my guns on this one. If your child neglect results in the death of the child you should absolutely go to prison.
Most of these things are accidents due to exhaustion from the systemic grind. You don’t know nearly enough to talk like that.
Avoidable yes, should never happen yes, but what purpose does prison serve here?
I’m not advocating for this, but obvious answer here would be at least temporary prevention of repeat events.
Do you actually think prison time would be a worse punishment, or larger reminder than your kid dying?
The defendant was an immense man, well over 300 pounds, but in the gravity of his sorrow and shame he seemed larger still. He hunched forward in the sturdy wooden armchair that barely contained him, sobbing softly into tissue after tissue, a leg bouncing nervously under the table. In the first pew of spectators sat his wife, looking stricken, absently twisting her wedding band. The room was a sepulcher. Witnesses spoke softly of events so painful that many lost their composure. When a hospital emergency room nurse described how the defendant had behaved after the police first brought him in, she wept. He was virtually catatonic, she remembered, his eyes shut tight, rocking back and forth, locked away in some unfathomable private torment. He would not speak at all for the longest time, not until the nurse sank down beside him and held his hand. It was only then that the patient began to open up, and what he said was that he didn’t want any sedation, that he didn’t deserve a respite from pain, that he wanted to feel it all, and then to die.
No. Whybare you even asking that? Prison would just prevent you from locking other kids in the car or other neglectful actions. They don’t let you drive in most prisons or care for small children.
You say that like most of these people are any more neglectful than you or I. Bad shit happens to good people for no good reason. Take the stress of existence, add in a change of plans during a daily event where you’d normally run on autopilot, and your fucking kid is dead. If it never happened to you that’s because you wheren’t life’s unlucky few who died, or got someone killed for a very human mistake.
There isn’t always a solution. You can’t fix every bad situation. Sometimes you have to sit there and just eat the fact that the world is garbage and there is literally, positively, absolutely nothing you, or anyone else can ever do that will fix it.
You’re a fucking dofus if you think any of these parents, outside of a few cherry-picked instances, are going to make the same mistake twice. But you don’t, because if you did you’d simply suggest having their remaining children removed from their home.
You’re advocating for this because the cave-person part of your brain told you “bad person get punish”, and instead of quelling it like a civilized individual, you thought “hey that’s the part of our brains that should make careful decisions about a complete strangers entire future.” Fuckin’ gratz.
What are your qualifications? It sounds so incredibly much like you are talking out of your ass. Have you ever dealt with this in real life before? Prior behavior predicts future behavior. If you are in a circumstance that is bad enough to allow you to doing something so incredibly stupid, your life doesn’t typically get more put together after this and the factors that allowed this to happen still persist. You remain a clear and present danger to your other children. Your fuck it the world is a mess attitude doesn’t help anything. I already said I’m not necessarily advocating for prison, but something to protect others from this stupidity is warranted. It’s a simple fact that you cant hurt another child this way or in some similarly neglectful way. That’s all I said. Trying to argue with that is silliness. I work with people that have murdered their children or children they have been caring for. Universally they regret it. They are not out to strike again, they all just lose their temper and accidently subject these children to physical forces that their bodies cannot tolerate but that would just equate to a harmless bar brawl if it were an adult. However, repeat perpetration is common if safety measures (lock them up, or reliably remove children from their presence) are not instituted. They are not out to strike again; they don’t have a vendetta against children, they just have fucked up lives and poor impulse control and the same stressors and same genetics and upbringing allow for the same results when in the same scenarios. I’ll give you a pass for the nasty name calling, but if you are actually educated in this topic and I see you give a talk at the next sbs conference, I’m going embarrass the crap out of you.
Yeah one of these things is something that can happen to a genuinely good parent due to complete happenstance, literally anyone at all given enough situational stress and dumb luck. The other are people who actively murdered their children, and where unable to stop themselves until it was too late.
If you don’t see the difference, and you’re that much of a tool you think every hammer is a nail, then maybe you need to find another line of work.
Never been to an SBS conference, but if you want to embarrass yourself there too, by all means, go the fuck ahead.
Man, just let it go. You have been schooled, just take it and learn.
Has there ever been someone that this has happened to twice?
Happens with neglectful child abuse all the time yes
So not this, but other things?
You conclusion does not follow from the premises. Please develop your abilities to reason using syllogisms.
Shouldn’t happen in modern cars, keep a running thermal sensor, weight and accelerometer sensor in seat, send alert if weight remains and any accelormeter activity when temp above danger threshold. I do not think this is required but should be.
