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WASHINGTON—In an effort to ensure all Americans receive a zesty kick, the Food and Drug Administration officially recommended Tuesday adding a little Tabasco to that bad boy. “Based on years of research and dozens of clinical trials, our agency strongly advocates that citizens put a splash of Tabasco right on that sucker,” said FDA acting commissioner Stephen Ostroff at an afternoon press conference, stressing that both adults and children sprinkle several hot and peppery drops right on that thing for some real serious zip. “It’s important that Americans closely follow these guidelines because this baby is practically begging for some heat. Our findings clearly indicate that it just needs a little something extra, and just a touch of that fiery Tabasco tang will take it to another level in the flavor department.” Ostroff repeatedly emphasized that Americans need not worry about how much Tabasco they put on that mother, adding that a bold, spicy zing was just what the doctor ordered.
I love vinegar, so I’m not mad at Tabasco, but if I want something vinegary and only kind of spicy, I’m going for Cholula. But anyone who thinks there’s a universal hot sauce is crazy. Different flavor profiles compliment different things. I have a couple of green sauces, a mango habanero, a chipotle, some Frank’s, regular and garlic cholula, sriracha (made by the original farm), and if we add spicy stuff that isn’t technically hot sauce, the list gets even longer.
…I’m temporarily banned from buying any more hot sauce.
I admittedly had a period where I exclusively used Sriracha. I think it’s more of phase than a committed lifestyle.
As for the ban, building a sliding pantry next to the fridge will get you plenty of extra sauce space.
My wife loves hot sauce but her choices are… confusing. Like sure, I get it, you want more heat. But it’s like she prioritizes heat over, y’know, a balanced and harmonious flavor profile. Like hey, maybe red pepper flakes would complement that pasta sauce better than whatever Tex-Mex sauce happens to be within arm’s reach. Maybe that steak that I’ve been sous viding in garlic and herbs would taste better with fresh cracked pepper and horseradish then that mango habanero sauce.
Has she burned her taste buds off? I know some people are like that but I don’t get it. There are so many hot sauces that you can make pretty much anything spicy AND flavorful.
She actually jokes that I did, since my spice tolerance is still higher than hers. She appreciates other flavors too, she just pairs things bizarrely