Had to sort of have ‘the talk’ with mum last night about hanging up the car keys. Had it before and we agreed only short trips (<2km) in daylight and less regular. Now after this it’s completely not safe for everyone. Feels bad, basically taking independence. She brought it up saying in a few days she’ll be able to get behind the wheel again so in that sense it wasn’t a sit her down and tell her something out of the blue thing.
I think one of harder things here is hearing her say ‘in a few days’ about a lot of things but the reality is things have changed permanently. In not saying anything when she says that I am giving false hope which I’m not sure is good or bad.
last night at dinner, I cooked a nice dinner for BIL. narcissist mil always has to give a reason why she can’t cook the fabulous dinners she used to cook, fabulous dinners that are much better than anything I do, while at the same time playing victim to get attention. She has done this routine for decades. She has never cooked in anyone’s memory.
MIL 😢"I can’t cook because I can’t chop vegetables anymore."
Seagoon in the deadest most emotionless voice she can muster. “buy frozen vegetables”
Then on leaving she had the cheek to expect to take home any left overs. I used to pack her loads of complete meals to take home in containers and a bag.
But she refused to give back my ikea containers and said the good quality grocery tote was perfect for her rubbish bag. Such disrespect.
It’s such a difficult situation to be in, and I really sympathise. It must be so hard for your mum dealing with these changes, and for you trying to help her.
Can you subtly suggest the how good Uber (or whatever car system that might work) is? No parking issues, cheaper overall costs, etc.
I remember how hard it was to get my mum to stop driving, and she wasn’t great at it even before age-related decline.
Had to sort of have ‘the talk’ with mum last night about hanging up the car keys. Had it before and we agreed only short trips (<2km) in daylight and less regular. Now after this it’s completely not safe for everyone. Feels bad, basically taking independence. She brought it up saying in a few days she’ll be able to get behind the wheel again so in that sense it wasn’t a sit her down and tell her something out of the blue thing.
I think one of harder things here is hearing her say ‘in a few days’ about a lot of things but the reality is things have changed permanently. In not saying anything when she says that I am giving false hope which I’m not sure is good or bad.
Ah that’s a tough talk mate. Hugs.
ha ha, was thinking the same thing about my mil#1, she’s 87 and convinced she can and should drive
i don’t really care if she bingles, etc, but i do worry she might hurt someone else
i might dob her in to the cops
false hope? I live on that shit. makes me able to get through each day
now i’m just waiting for fam to die so i can at least be left in peace and not worry about money
lol. Ouch but fair enough.
i am so over it all
last night at dinner, I cooked a nice dinner for BIL. narcissist mil always has to give a reason why she can’t cook the fabulous dinners she used to cook, fabulous dinners that are much better than anything I do, while at the same time playing victim to get attention. She has done this routine for decades. She has never cooked in anyone’s memory.
MIL 😢"I can’t cook because I can’t chop vegetables anymore."
Seagoon in the deadest most emotionless voice she can muster. “buy frozen vegetables”
rest of table. Utter silence
Erk. Still, calling out self deception can be considered good work.
Then on leaving she had the cheek to expect to take home any left overs. I used to pack her loads of complete meals to take home in containers and a bag.
But she refused to give back my ikea containers and said the good quality grocery tote was perfect for her rubbish bag. Such disrespect.
She doesn’t get anything now.
Cheeeesus. I think I’d have slapped her.
It’s such a difficult situation to be in, and I really sympathise. It must be so hard for your mum dealing with these changes, and for you trying to help her.
Can you subtly suggest the how good Uber (or whatever car system that might work) is? No parking issues, cheaper overall costs, etc.
I remember how hard it was to get my mum to stop driving, and she wasn’t great at it even before age-related decline.