Is it? Why does having a label for people treating you differently help with that? It mostly just turns into an excuse for others to use thank being a helpful label.
I think labels seem progressive and helpful but are mostly used to further divide people and make in and out groups.
If you know you struggle with people being told that it’s your fault cause you are genetically different somehow even though it seems ever so common and spectrum based does nothing to help you deal with people.
Here’s how a label can help: I did receive a social worker diagnosis (not medical) in elementary school, but my parents had a very similar outlook to you and didn’t do much for helping me learn how to handle it. I “knew”, but could never understand why I alienated everyone. I couldn’t manage my anger, because every time I met a new kid, it would get combative quickly. I felt I was in a position to have to earn massive respect from everyone to treat me decently, and therefore got controlling when working with others. This pressure also extremely heightened the natural tendency to procrastinate associated with autism (Note, all of this is afterthought analysis not what I thought as a kid).
College and then post grad, I had to confront these issues on my own with only poor coping mechanisms I had developed growing up. I had to educate myself about autism, and I had to spend a lot of time reflecting on myself and figuring out how to manage my worst impulses. If I had been educated and informed as a kid, I wouldn’t have needed to struggle like that for decades.
Sure. If people had taken the time to work with you and find your issues and solve them you would have had it better.
That doesn’t require the label it just makes it easier to look up the information for it and see what others have done.
The association of the label doesn’t help you it would be people helping you. Labeling the pain can help you recognize it, labeling the person puts them in a group.
You also have no idea how the part would be if it was different because it wasn’t lived. It’s an easy fantasy rather than living in the present. You would have likely still struggled just differently. So what do we do now for those that still are? Do we label them or are we helping them?
Everything is used to divide, someone autistic will behave in ways that “other” him regardless of labels, and people who want to hate are going to keep hating.
You don’t need them, don’t use them, but they absolutely are helpful for many people. We are nowhere near a society inclusive enough to make labels obsolete.
Beside, dealing with people’s attitude isn’t the only issue.
Neurodivergent people will compare themselves to others on their own, and will struggle with their self image and self-esteem.
A diagnosis will help with understanding themselves and finding better strategies much quicker.
Chicken or the egg? Do we stop labeling people and start working on their shared and singular problems to become inclusive or do we need to become inclusive first to start being able to see people as people and work on their shared and singular problems?
I think the answer is we just start doing it anyways. And don’t wait for reality to shift to some easier form to do things we should.
And I know that people compare themselves to each other all the time, I have done it and will do it to but now I try to do it when seeing if they are content only. If they have more in their bowl than me it’s not my concern, I am trying to focus on those that don’t have enough. It’s a pipe dream that labeling people makes them better at coping. People still need the compassion of others.
Chicken or the egg do we wait for a compassionate society to start being compassionate ourselves?
I’m happy you found your way and again, don’t use labels if you don’t want to. Start building the world you wish for, by all means.
You keep missing or ignoring the point that your experience is yours alone, other people find comfort, identity, community and understanding in their labels and that’s their right.
Labels are a tool, how they are used depends on the person but they don’t intrinsically imply either discrimination or lack of compassion.
Be compassionate, we agree that’s the way, but as far as I’m concerned that includes letting people be with their labels when they want to, as long as they’re not being dicks about it.
I think we agree on the main point of wanting a more inclusive society, one that hopefully doesn’t need labels, eventually, but it doesn’t look likely it will happen soon, and as long as we live in this one each of us copes the way we can.
Do you know why humans are as advanced as we are? It’s because we can learn from each other and build on what people before us have done. A label helps you connect with people who have the same struggles and learn what strategies they used to cope and live a fulfilling life. It’s a way to avoid having to reinvent the wheel.
How do you find the people with the same struggles as you without some common banner to look for? And just naming symptoms without some root cause is probably not going to be helpful. Treating leg pain from a broken bone is different than treating leg pain from a bad cramp. Similar for a lot of social/mental challenges.
Is it? Why does having a label for people treating you differently help with that? It mostly just turns into an excuse for others to use thank being a helpful label.
I think labels seem progressive and helpful but are mostly used to further divide people and make in and out groups.
If you know you struggle with people being told that it’s your fault cause you are genetically different somehow even though it seems ever so common and spectrum based does nothing to help you deal with people.
Here’s how a label can help: I did receive a social worker diagnosis (not medical) in elementary school, but my parents had a very similar outlook to you and didn’t do much for helping me learn how to handle it. I “knew”, but could never understand why I alienated everyone. I couldn’t manage my anger, because every time I met a new kid, it would get combative quickly. I felt I was in a position to have to earn massive respect from everyone to treat me decently, and therefore got controlling when working with others. This pressure also extremely heightened the natural tendency to procrastinate associated with autism (Note, all of this is afterthought analysis not what I thought as a kid).
College and then post grad, I had to confront these issues on my own with only poor coping mechanisms I had developed growing up. I had to educate myself about autism, and I had to spend a lot of time reflecting on myself and figuring out how to manage my worst impulses. If I had been educated and informed as a kid, I wouldn’t have needed to struggle like that for decades.
Sure. If people had taken the time to work with you and find your issues and solve them you would have had it better.
That doesn’t require the label it just makes it easier to look up the information for it and see what others have done.
The association of the label doesn’t help you it would be people helping you. Labeling the pain can help you recognize it, labeling the person puts them in a group.
You also have no idea how the part would be if it was different because it wasn’t lived. It’s an easy fantasy rather than living in the present. You would have likely still struggled just differently. So what do we do now for those that still are? Do we label them or are we helping them?
Everything is used to divide, someone autistic will behave in ways that “other” him regardless of labels, and people who want to hate are going to keep hating.
You don’t need them, don’t use them, but they absolutely are helpful for many people. We are nowhere near a society inclusive enough to make labels obsolete.
Beside, dealing with people’s attitude isn’t the only issue. Neurodivergent people will compare themselves to others on their own, and will struggle with their self image and self-esteem. A diagnosis will help with understanding themselves and finding better strategies much quicker.
Chicken or the egg? Do we stop labeling people and start working on their shared and singular problems to become inclusive or do we need to become inclusive first to start being able to see people as people and work on their shared and singular problems?
I think the answer is we just start doing it anyways. And don’t wait for reality to shift to some easier form to do things we should.
And I know that people compare themselves to each other all the time, I have done it and will do it to but now I try to do it when seeing if they are content only. If they have more in their bowl than me it’s not my concern, I am trying to focus on those that don’t have enough. It’s a pipe dream that labeling people makes them better at coping. People still need the compassion of others.
Chicken or the egg do we wait for a compassionate society to start being compassionate ourselves?
I’m happy you found your way and again, don’t use labels if you don’t want to. Start building the world you wish for, by all means.
You keep missing or ignoring the point that your experience is yours alone, other people find comfort, identity, community and understanding in their labels and that’s their right.
Labels are a tool, how they are used depends on the person but they don’t intrinsically imply either discrimination or lack of compassion. Be compassionate, we agree that’s the way, but as far as I’m concerned that includes letting people be with their labels when they want to, as long as they’re not being dicks about it.
I think we agree on the main point of wanting a more inclusive society, one that hopefully doesn’t need labels, eventually, but it doesn’t look likely it will happen soon, and as long as we live in this one each of us copes the way we can.
Happy holidays friend
Do you know why humans are as advanced as we are? It’s because we can learn from each other and build on what people before us have done. A label helps you connect with people who have the same struggles and learn what strategies they used to cope and live a fulfilling life. It’s a way to avoid having to reinvent the wheel.
That has nothing to do with labels. That creates group think and tribes.
Knowledge is not labels on people.
How do you find the people with the same struggles as you without some common banner to look for? And just naming symptoms without some root cause is probably not going to be helpful. Treating leg pain from a broken bone is different than treating leg pain from a bad cramp. Similar for a lot of social/mental challenges.