I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but that comment is actually pretty fucking gross. If the hypothetical trans guy is fine with his boobs, no problem. But the insinuation that OOP would keep “complimenting” someone on a part of their body that makes them dysphoric is just sickening.
I’m a trans girl. I really don’t like having a flat chest, it makes me dysphoric. Yes, there are girls with flat chests, both cis and trans, that are fine with that, and yes, I do find girls with flat chests attractive too. But if someone went up to me and kept telling me my flat chest was hot, despite knowing that it made me, uncomfortable, I’d fucking deck them.
Why are you calling the hypothetical disgusting when the hypothetical itself admits it would be unpleasant? It’s a hypothetical. They’re using it as an example of why it wouldn’t work. They wouldn’t be doing it for real because the situation doesn’t even exist. It’s like getting angry at someone for saying “I would drink too much alcohol if it were in my house” when they’re saying why they don’t keep alcohol in the house by saying “I find it disgusting this person would even consider drinking too much alcohol if they had it in their house” like yeah that’s why they don’t have alcohol in their house.
You’re making a false equivalence there, comparing a drug to a human being with thoughts and feelings. If you change your sentence to “I would abuse my partner if I had one”, one involving an actual human being, people would be telling you to get therapy even if you remained single, because it’s unhealthy way to think about human beings.
I’m not equating abusing alcohol to abusing people, it was a poor word choice on my part, I should’ve said something like “drink too much alcohol” to make that more clear. I’ll edit that so it doesn’t look like that’s what I’m doing.
I don’t think you understand my rebuttal. My point is that you’re equating a substance abuse problem with treating someone with basic respect. They are fundamentally different issues.
this is coming from a staunch fucking ally that has been there for more than a couple of friends that have transitioned.
but you gotta realize the outside world is not beholden to your preferences or desires. and if someone else runs counter to that, it’s literally as simple as not dating the guy.
he stated his preference. he likes breasts. he doesn’t like dicks. he would likely say that he likes breasts because as is obvious, the dude likes em. so it someone had a problem with that type of complimenting, it’d probably not work out.
sooooooooooooooooooooo there’s literally no problem here except you’re feeling attacked. with the amount of things y’all have to put up with in society, i understand y’all’s bitterness and anger and exasperation and frustration with any interactions. but this seems a silly hill to die on. it’s a dude’s preference.
Are you thick? I’m saying that thinking that’s an acceptable thing to say about someone’s body in that context, regardless of whether you’re daring them or not, is actually fucked in the head.
Also, that’s an absolute classic opening to your argument: “I’m an ally, but … Wait! Wait! I have trans friends so that automatically makes me correct about any transgender issues whatsoever!” Never heard that before. /s
You’re not an ally. If you have to start of a sentence by saying you’re an ally and have friends in a marginalized group, you’re already starting off wrong. You’re talking down to a trans person for stating what they don’t like about something. Maybe if you wanted to explain how it is actually just preference, but your comment is entirely about “trans people having victim complexes”.
Not dating the guy is fine. But being okay with dating someone pre-transition specifically for the things they do not like is gross. Trans men are not women. Do you have any idea how many of us enter relationships with people who say they support us, then do anything they can to prevent us from being who we want to be? Specifically common with trans men. If he said, “no I’m straight I don’t date men” that’d just be preference. But he’s saying “yeah I’d date a trans dude if they essentially weren’t trans”. That’s shitty.
The commenter was pointing out how they personally like boobs, and in the context of a relationship with a trans man who is dysphoric about that kind of thing it would make the relationship uncomfortable. They’re not bringing up this example to insinuate that they would harrass a partner like this, they’re bringing it up to say they wouldn’t wanna do that. I don’t think they’re saying they think it’s acceptable.
They posted the entire comment section this came from further down, and based on reading the exchange this was them saying that they would probably only date a pre-transition trans man if they were comfortable with him liking their boobs.
So I’m unsure what “way” you’re implying they’re thinking.
I’m not sure if I would characterize what they said as calling trans women narcissists (the comment they were responding to definitely did though). But yeah, it’s doesn’t sit right with me either.
I know this is going to be an unpopular opinion, but that comment is actually pretty fucking gross. If the hypothetical trans guy is fine with his boobs, no problem. But the insinuation that OOP would keep “complimenting” someone on a part of their body that makes them dysphoric is just sickening.
I’m a trans girl. I really don’t like having a flat chest, it makes me dysphoric. Yes, there are girls with flat chests, both cis and trans, that are fine with that, and yes, I do find girls with flat chests attractive too. But if someone went up to me and kept telling me my flat chest was hot, despite knowing that it made me, uncomfortable, I’d fucking deck them.
Why are you calling the hypothetical disgusting when the hypothetical itself admits it would be unpleasant? It’s a hypothetical. They’re using it as an example of why it wouldn’t work. They wouldn’t be doing it for real because the situation doesn’t even exist. It’s like getting angry at someone for saying “I would drink too much alcohol if it were in my house” when they’re saying why they don’t keep alcohol in the house by saying “I find it disgusting this person would even consider drinking too much alcohol if they had it in their house” like yeah that’s why they don’t have alcohol in their house.
You’re making a false equivalence there, comparing a drug to a human being with thoughts and feelings. If you change your sentence to “I would abuse my partner if I had one”, one involving an actual human being, people would be telling you to get therapy even if you remained single, because it’s unhealthy way to think about human beings.
I’m not equating abusing alcohol to abusing people, it was a poor word choice on my part, I should’ve said something like “drink too much alcohol” to make that more clear. I’ll edit that so it doesn’t look like that’s what I’m doing.
I don’t think you understand my rebuttal. My point is that you’re equating a substance abuse problem with treating someone with basic respect. They are fundamentally different issues.
I’m equating people’s desires to avoid those situations. Not the situations themselves.
I see. I don’t necessarily see those as equal either, but I respect your opinion.
this is coming from a staunch fucking ally that has been there for more than a couple of friends that have transitioned.
but you gotta realize the outside world is not beholden to your preferences or desires. and if someone else runs counter to that, it’s literally as simple as not dating the guy.
he stated his preference. he likes breasts. he doesn’t like dicks. he would likely say that he likes breasts because as is obvious, the dude likes em. so it someone had a problem with that type of complimenting, it’d probably not work out.
sooooooooooooooooooooo there’s literally no problem here except you’re feeling attacked. with the amount of things y’all have to put up with in society, i understand y’all’s bitterness and anger and exasperation and frustration with any interactions. but this seems a silly hill to die on. it’s a dude’s preference.
Are you thick? I’m saying that thinking that’s an acceptable thing to say about someone’s body in that context, regardless of whether you’re daring them or not, is actually fucked in the head.
Also, that’s an absolute classic opening to your argument: “I’m an ally, but … Wait! Wait! I have trans friends so that automatically makes me correct about any transgender issues whatsoever!” Never heard that before. /s
“My friend’s daughter’s step sister is dating a black person”
*proceeds to say the most racist shit you will ever hear
You’re not an ally. If you have to start of a sentence by saying you’re an ally and have friends in a marginalized group, you’re already starting off wrong. You’re talking down to a trans person for stating what they don’t like about something. Maybe if you wanted to explain how it is actually just preference, but your comment is entirely about “trans people having victim complexes”.
Not dating the guy is fine. But being okay with dating someone pre-transition specifically for the things they do not like is gross. Trans men are not women. Do you have any idea how many of us enter relationships with people who say they support us, then do anything they can to prevent us from being who we want to be? Specifically common with trans men. If he said, “no I’m straight I don’t date men” that’d just be preference. But he’s saying “yeah I’d date a trans dude if they essentially weren’t trans”. That’s shitty.
Hence why the dating thing probably wouldn’t work out
That’s kinda the point though isn’t it?
The commenter was pointing out how they personally like boobs, and in the context of a relationship with a trans man who is dysphoric about that kind of thing it would make the relationship uncomfortable. They’re not bringing up this example to insinuate that they would harrass a partner like this, they’re bringing it up to say they wouldn’t wanna do that. I don’t think they’re saying they think it’s acceptable.
If they think it isn’t acceptable, why do they think that way?
They posted the entire comment section this came from further down, and based on reading the exchange this was them saying that they would probably only date a pre-transition trans man if they were comfortable with him liking their boobs.
So I’m unsure what “way” you’re implying they’re thinking.
I didn’t really get that impression of them, but if that’s what they believe I guess that’s alright.
One of their other comments here, which painted trans women as narcissists for hating bigots, didn’t exactly sit well with me though.
I’m not sure if I would characterize what they said as calling trans women narcissists (the comment they were responding to definitely did though). But yeah, it’s doesn’t sit right with me either.
Lol really you would assault them?