I need some relationship advice. I suggested 125% but my wife won’t budge from 10%. Is this normal? How did it go when you had this conversation with your romantic partner?

  • Fawxhox@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    0
    ·
    11 months ago

    As an autistic dude, I feel like I know that it’s weird too say, but I also feel like it makes sense. Like it’s hard to quantify x% better, but I’m sure there is a number, for me at least, where if someone is that much better and would date me, I’d do it. It’s not romantic to say, but it’s true. And I’ve been dumped for other people twice so the same must have been true for them.

    It just feels like one of the thousands of unspoken rules you’re not allowed to talk about out of politeness. But honestly I would like to know that number for my SO.

    • Flumpkin@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      If you’re curious about an alternative view, I suggest The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm. Relationships are about growing your own and the others natural abilities, something you do and not about trading something you have. The OP post is a materialistic view and a belief in inequality. YMMV.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      11 months ago

      sure. just codify the human experience of love, marriage, sex, relationships, family and their interpersonal connections and the entire population into a single integer in a way that the difference between 42 and 43, and 1 and 153, is meaningful to everyone regardless of race, culture, creed, ethnicity, language, class, location, age, upbringing, wants, needs, desires, hopes, dreams and in a way that remains meaningful for up to 8 decades as well as the first meeting of a relationship and encourages people to feel safe, confident and happy to leave a relationship based on a relative number to their assigned integer. It should keep you busy for a little while but I look forward to seeing what number you assign to, for eg a Liberian refugee in Sierra Leone or a Changar itinerant harvesting travelling village, or Prince Harry of England and when I see it I can say “ah, yes, an 81, of course.”

      • Fawxhox@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        10 months ago

        This is a weird attempt to put me down?? Obviously this is a personal number, I have no idea why you think I’m implying there is one formulas that fits every person in the world other than you just wanted to fight.

        • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          10 months ago

          I didn’t intend it to be personal, but you did say you see the appeal, so I was doing a bit on the concept. But not really dedicated to you. After all, we’re all just usernames to each other at on here.