A (nice) coworker once asked me if I had a system for managing tasks.
I thought they were asking to learn, so I enthusiastically told them about the ~30 different systems I use; the inbox of all incoming tasks, a flowchart for task allocation, urgency VS importance whiteboards, etc, etc. I mentioned each of the books and methodologies those systems came from. (I highly recommend this 5min vid and listening to Order from Chaos (written by and for people with ADHD))
“Oh… cool” was their response, and in that moment I realized they were actually asking because they thought I didn’t have any system at all…
I just checked out the book and bought it, thanks!
Yes, but which scheduling app should I use? Best start with a spreadsheet to narrow down the best option, then I can really get cracking.
Emacs’ org mode is the best note taking app. You go down the rabbit hole configuring it that you forget why you downloaded emacs in the first place.
I have been wanting a dual-boot Linux system. It would be silly not to take advantage of this world-class note-taking capability…
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH
Making the schedule is the easy part. I could make the most amazing schedule of all time. It’ll be fully booked with healthy eating, exercise, classes, work, sleep, you name it. Following it? Lol
I mean, if it’s a new therapist it still seems valuable to go through the “obvious” checklist first just to make sure you’ve covered your bases. For some people it may be enough, even if it isn’t for most 🤷🏼♂️
They keep suggesting that to autistics like me too.
But schedules and calendars that go beyond “this has to be done on or by that date or you’re fucked” stress me the fuck out.
They keep trying to “fix” my sleep schedule and non-existent executive function by trying to schedule every second of every day and the result is that I’m so stressed I can’t even get something like brushing my teeth done.
My therapist eventually built me up to a schedule for a week, there are things that need to happen before that so that the schedule is sustainable.
We worked in my emotional regulation, my motivation to do things, what I want my purpose to be in life, my self image, and more, additionally, I’m on two ADHD meds.
So yeah, schedule is the right answer, but it’s not where you start, if your therapist starts there and doesn’t wanna work with you to get there, they may not be a good fit
What did you do to build up to it?
Funny, for me, a schedule is exactly the wrong answer. What worked best for me was fully leaning into my distractions - I just “let” myself be distracted by the things I “should” be doing, and not really caring about if they happen or not.
What I mean by that is, whenever I notice something, I just do it, regardless of what I’m currently doing. Let’s say I’m currently writing a shopping list. I notice that I have to pee. I go to the bath. I see clothes that should go in the drawer. I take said clothes to the drawer. I still have to pee, I remember that I wanted to go to the toilet. I pee. I notice hair in the shower. I collect the hair and throw it away. I want to go play some games. I go to the desk, see my phone with the shopping list app still open. I continue making my shopping list.
Obviously, stuff still gets lost this way, but actually not very many things. So little gets lost that way that I actually can just not care about them. For example in the above, maybe I never get to the shopping list again. But I made part of it, and it’s not like I need a shopping list to go shopping, I’ll still be able to get something from the store so that I don’t starve, even though I maybe miss some of the stuff I wanted. And I did so many other things instead that “had” to be done that I’m still happy in general, I know what the shopping list was replaced by and still feel good about these things.
The middle part of your comment obviously is very fucking important for this. You have to actually want to do the things, know you can do them, try to feel good about doing them, forgive yourself if you don’t do them, etc etc etc.
For me, this embraced chaos works so much better than any schedule ever could, because I love this way of living so much more than the rigidity.
This kind of productive flow probably works amazingly- unless you have any other beings in your life, especially ones that rely on you for food, walks, and financial contribution.
Other life forms are where my flow breaks down.
Tip: instead of making schedules, try to build habits.
Start with something small and make an effort to do it every single day for a month or every day of the week for three months.
The hardest part is to be consistent, so try to not skip more than one day.
Tip: instead of making schedules, try to build habits. […] The hardest part is to be consistent, so try to not skip more than one day.
This is some ‘gee thanks I’m cured’ sort of advice. I’ve repeatedly tried to create habits, but they do not stick and my brain will drop them like a hot potato if I’m not actively keeping the habit going. The only relief I’ve found is a gamification app that helps me remember all the habits I need to do. And even then I still forget to do all my habits on the reg…
Not the guy you’re responding to but I made a comment upthread that I found success by developing interlocking habits, or in some cases it’s fair to say rituals rather than habits … little sub-habits that guide you to the main one you want to develop, or briefly reward you when you’ve completed it. Items or processes in your environment which cue you and remind you that the habits you want to do even exist.
For example, 2 sub-components of what finally got me to remember to meditate (or skip, but intentionally 😒) were writing a brief journal entry of my observations after each sit with a piece of chocolate, and having a couple little succulents with a light on a timer by my altar, so that every time I’m in the room during the day the altar area, with a couple plants I need to keep an eye on for their health, is lit up to draw me in if I’m ready.
Doing things this way is very intentional and thus exhausting, and it requires a lot of trial and error to figure out the little sub-habits that all work together and that actually work for you (since some inevitably won’t), and hell as somebody explaining it I’ve only had a couple big successes with it because I often don’t have the energy/brainpower to figure all this out … but man when I can pull it off, it works sooo well.
I’m a huge believer in “prosthetic environments” which I believe is a concept Dr. Russell Barkley came up with, he annoys me a little but as an ADHD research he’s like 85% dead on target about this stuff, and thinks deeply about it.
Good luck!
