I was worried that lemmy wouldn’t reach the pinnacle of quality to match reddit, and then this post came along to soothe those fears. Good luck on your no poop quest.

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you’re not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you’re out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you’re not trying to pee either but it’s important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

So you are going to wear some kind of pants that you can’t take off easily for 3 days. Maybe some kind of medieval armor, or a fursuit.

Gatorade has tons of calories because of the sugar, and it will leave nothing to poop out. It will give you the critical electrolytes (plants crave them) that you’re missing from food. Take a multivitamin too.

But it doesn’t have enough calories, and you need stuff to go in your stomach so you don’t suffer being empty on your temporary Gatorade diet. eat white bread. Your body metabolizes almost all of it, so there’s almost nothing to poop out.

You will need to poop out all your poop before doing this, so good hydration and veggies beforehand will clean you out. No need for laxatives, just switch to your new and stupid diet 36 hours before you need to stop pooping.

Good luck on your medieval battle reënactment or orgy.

In 10 years, people are going to say “I joined Lemmy before the 3 days without pooping post”

I came to Lemmy as a substitute for Reddit, and I’m impressed at how little time it took to reach the high-quality posts that Reddit was known for.

Are you by chance trapped in a submarine near the Titanic?

OP doesn’t want his crush knowing that he poops. Simple as.

This is the kind of post we need around here :)

I suggest you do poop, your plan atm sounds cartoonishly stupid and likely to blow up in your face.

Do keep us posted though!

• I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

Sure sounds like something someone who’s going to mail himself somewhere would say.

Happy i switched over to lemmy in time to whitness this

Your last three posts are a roller coaster in wondering “What’s this guy up to?”. Thanks for the laughs

Dude the submersible’s gone, there isn’t gonna be another trip down there. Get your $250,000 back and do something meaningful with your life.

If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he’s probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that’s coming in a few days.

Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It’s not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let’s just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.

In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren’t too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing… And it was all free!).

Eid Al Adha-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha?wprov=sfla1

Hajj - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj?wprov=sfla1

Repost from: https://lemmy.ca/comment/549502

I miscalculated. The poopless days begin tomorrow, not today. About 28 hours left.

Without context. This is such a hilarious situation, it’s like, when a sitcom character whos role is to be the goof of the bunch, asks his friends this question and he’s serious and frantic.