My experience with being perceived as “high-functioning” is so negative because it primarily comes from the sacrifices I make at the cost of my health in order to keep up with social expectations
I have to actively choose between taking care of myself and fulfilling responsibilities because I don’t have energy for both (I usually wouldn’t even call it a choice given that adult life especially isn’t the most forgiving)
Anybody else?
Pretty much.
I spend my workweek masking, so when I get home to my family I’m too socially exhausted to do much more than repetitive behaviors, and socializing, even with family, is grating. I feel like I can breathe when I’m alone and not feeling watched/observed/perceived, but I still need time to let my hackles drop. It makes laundry, cleaning, preparing meals, shopping, running errands, scheduling, etc., so fucking hard to do, and it’s like I have a limited amount of attention/energy to devote to things, regardless of how much time I have. There are days when I get weeks worth or work done and months when I struggle to tread water.
The one bright light is that there are family members who don’t understand, but are patient, and ones who DO and I’m getting more comfortable saying “I don’t hate you, I love you, I just can’t stand you right now and I don’t want to snap at you to get you away from me, so please let me be”.
It was easier to balance when I had a more solitary job but… I couldn’t live on that money for long, so… :/
