First born nipper of seven weeks is well for which I count my blessings. Fresh challenges for daddy though: I don’t have the emotional and physical comfort from my girlfriend that I had become accustomed to. Obviously, she is looking after a baby for everything she’s worth, with me right behind her. We’re breastfeeding. Circumstances conspired for me to get away for a night out a week ago - for the first time - with my best friend and it was wonderful. I was a lot less stressed afterwards and had a lot more to give the next day. But it also reminded me of the time before we had our baby; fun, sex, freedom, all that jazz. We managed to have some rushed sexy time a few weeks ago (thanks grandpa), a couple of brief cuddles and a couple of limited heart-to-heart chats but really I feel like I’m basically just a cook, potwash, caretaker and babysitter. Whilst being hyper-focussed our baby, she also tries her best not to overload me, which I’m grateful for. But I’m not getting much love, care, understanding or respect from anywhere at the moment. Nice moments with my daughter just about keeps me in the game tbh. Do any of you recongnise this? Can you offer any light at the end of the tunnel, recommend what to do? I’m feeling very strapped in. Thanks

  • Silic0n_Alph4@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    9 months here. It gets better. IT GETS BETTER.

    The first couple of months are hell. Make sure you and your girlfriend both get breaks when you can, and prioritise sleep. Celebrate the little things, because the only big things this month will be bags under eyes and bags of nappies. Call on family for support if you can. Invite friends over to meet the baby.

    When she starts sleeping for longer periods your life will start to come back. You’re daddy forever now, though!

    Hang in there buddy. You’re going through the worst part of it all, but this too will pass. You have the strength to power through. You got this.

    • kender242@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Hells yeah. 9 months is a great time, you get to see the end of the tunnel.

      As time goes by the chores drop off. Something to look forward to No more burping Neck is strong enough Solid foods become a thing Fewer bottles to clean No more bored baby Baby is moving, coasting, walking Self play! Words Smiles SLEEP Communicating needs reciprocated love DAYCARE lol

      Taking care of wife and baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s a selfless thing that is thrust on you. But we’re doing the good work.

      I have no regrets. Time does go by quickly, you only have a baby for one year, but it’s all about being in the moment, and the next.

      Two isn’t bad. 3 is awesome. About to experience 4. My daughter is full of love, happiness and wonder.

      Just a general shout out to all the dads out there. Take care of yourselves. Get sleep whenever you can. IT GETS BETTER.