No one, because the only people in my life either wouldnt give a fuck, or would try to basically turn it into a competition (“Oh, you have X? I have X too, only worse. And also Y.”).
So I internalize it and push it all down into a tight little ball in my lower abdomen, until the day comes where it becomes a cancer and consumes me.
I hope that changes for you at some point.
Well past the halfway mark and it never has, so I doubt it ever will.
Do you know where that tight little ball in your lower abdomen should go? Down the shitter. You don’t have to internalise it. You are your own best friend.
What else am I supposed to use that blasted appendix for, if not this?
I feel extemely lucky to have a crew of guys that I’ve known for 45-35yrs…school chums, lifelong friends. We don’t hesitate to talk to eachother. Best feature…we aren’t afraid to say “love you” upon departure, etc…I believe this is extremely rare for a bunch of hetero/CIS guys.
That’s impressive. How did you manage to stay in contact for so long? Hoping my friend group can stay similarly close, although I can’t say for sure. (Coming from a teenager.)
Depends on your life situation. I have a small group like this, but I met them randomly after high school, but I still talk to a few high school friends on occasion.
I also moved across the entire country after high school, which didn’t help with keeping in touch. Once you find the right group, especially now it’s super easy to stay in touch through the internet or just phones.
Yeah, I guess it really depends. A decent chunk of my school friends have ended up emigrating or going to university halfway across the world. The Internet is neat but timezones are still fucky.
There are still overlaps, I have friends in many timezones thanks to that there internets, and there are at least a few hours daily I can find to give em a shout if the need arises.
But more often than not some groups of mine can be radio silent for 6+ months at a time and then randomly strike back up like nothing happened. Catchups are had, games are played, and things are just like we never parted. The at some point we will drift apart again and it’ll be another however long until we’re brought back together.
Core of the group stayed pretty local. People went to college within a 3 hour radius. People got jobs close to our home town. We just kept hanging out. It also is important that there is a group of women that are from the class behind us, '87. Two of them are wives of my BFFs.
Nobody, because I’m afraid to upset/burden anyone by making my problems theirs. It’s caused issues in the past for me so I think my best bet will be finding a therapist lmfao
I for one certainly hope your situation changes for the better, therapist or otherwise.
I reach out to Billy Bong Thorton and Wesley Pipes because they really help alot!
My therapist, provided I reach the breaking point at a convenient time when we have a session scheduled.
Nobody. Everytime I’ve reached out in the past has never worked out. Haven’t gone outside in about 5 years. I go to therapy, but 1 hour a month isn’t enough to even scratch the surface of what I’m dealing with let alone anything new that happened between visits. I feel like a burden to my girlfriend and family (dont even have much of that left anymore.) And I’m too far gone at this point to make friends. If they won’t invite me to game night over steam, why would I think they’d let me trauma dump on them or cry on their shoulder? Even typing this comment feels like a pointless cry for attention.
“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.”
- Aldous Huxley
Same, dude, same.
You guys turn to people when things get rough?
I guess when things get tough I’ll turn to my older brother for support, one hug and everything is alright. But before him I was alone
My bartender. They’re great listeners. Sometimes you just need to get it all out to someone that listens. They don’t need to provide advice or anything.
“reach out” 😂
Gin and Jack are best way to “reach out” a sip of them and all the pain is gone for a moment
Sorry, second language! What would be the correct phrasing?
Oh! Sorry, you used the right phrasing.
I was being self deprecating, because I don’t have anyone to reach out to! 😅
Oh my bad! Damn, that hurts to hear 🥲 hope you‘re doing okay.
Hey, Queermunist, you can tell me what’s going on? On Lemmy, we’re all friends and look after each other.
Oh! Well, I didn’t understand I was trans until the pandemic (I kept getting ma’amed because of the masks and really liked it, that’s when I knew) and I was 29 by that point. I don’t want to die anymore ? It’s great!
I also have no friends because I was too depressed and dysphoric for a decade after HS to maintain relationships. Also failed out of college so I’m a factory worker (though I don’t hate it) and live in the middle of nowhere. So, yeah, I don’t really have people to reach out to.
Wow you’re kinda in my position except I’m not trans and got some of my family left that care about me. Keep fighting the good fight buddy hopefully you’ll find yourself some friends
Oh. It’s so great that you don’t want to die anymore. Now that you explain it, it seems not as bad as before not having friends. Maybe I could tell something about me as well. When I finished College(12 Years Education) in my country, I had terrible mood swings, I had a terrible crush on one person for literally 4 years, and Since, I couldn’t be with this person, I was tormented just at the sight of that person. Now that, I’m in University, I have made good friends, even though, I used to think I have social anxiety, which I’ve 90% Conquered now. P.S. Sorry about making this about me. Either ignore it, or tell me more about yourself.
Naw we can both share 😊
Though uh, there’s just not much more about myself? Well, there’s a job opening coming up this fall that comes with college benefits and I’m going to try to go for that. I’ll probably go into skilled trades, maybe as an electrician? We’ll see!
Hey, Good luck with that. Try your best.
No one. Tired of having people turn their back or outright slapping my hands away. Even had two therapists forget about me, which was fucking fabulous when I’d just been assessed by the crisis team as high risk for suicide.
Just want someone to relax and play games with, the ask for company has never been a high bar. Easier to have a circle of friends that is empty than be continually forgotten or excluded.
Nobody. I have to live in such a way that I don’t reach that point… including reaching out to others well before the breaking point.
My friends. I have a wonderful small group who at this point know when I need to talk, or when I need a distraction, or when I just need to sit in quiet but still want company. I’m fairly confident that I wouldn’t be here without them.
I’m super lucky to have a couple of close friends who I know I can call on. When my dad was dying of cancer at the end of last year, they both took turns coming over so I had company as a distraction 3-4 nights a week. After he passed they even took time off from their jobs and traveled out of town to his funeral while refusing my attempts to pay for their hotel rooms. I’m eternally grateful for them and I don’t know how I would’ve made it through that without them.
Man, those are real friends right there. I’m sorry for your loss.
Nobody. I just keep it to myself and keep doing what I’m doing. Nobody cares how dudes in their 30s feel unless you’re paying them to care.
My brother (in his 30s) calls me up when he needs support, and I do genuinely care. I’m sorry you don’t have someone. That must be terrible. 😔
I’ve really been surprised at the kind, supportive comments i see on the fed - much more that i ever saw on r/.
