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Joined 4 months ago
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Cake day: July 5th, 2024

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  • I have a statement I would like to read.

    On Monday night, following a long meeting with the Chancellor, I needed to go to the toilet, so I went to one that I knew would be open at three in the morning on Hampstead Heath. Upon my arrival, I met two men, Carlos and Eduardo, who invited me into their cubicle to talk to them about government policy. Unfortunately, I slipped on the wet floor and became sandwiched between the two men in a position that the arresting officer informed me is known as a spit roast. As far as I’m concerned, that is the end of it.