Yes indeed! You might wish to look into the idea of double consciousness, the dual self-perception experienced by subordinated or colonized groups in an oppressive society. Its a sense of attempting to perceive yourself as both who you know yourself to be and as an oppressive other will perceive you. If you want to smash that noise then you need to learn to stop being ashamed of yourself!
Also, you definitely should be taking the self-defense class appropriate to your gender as violence is very often gendered. There’s a podcast episode of The Gender Rebels about one trans women’s experience taking Krav Maga you might want to give a listen.
Good luck and take care :)
Due to my low tolerance for the cishetmono nonsense engendering their fascination with us trans folk, I’ve chosen to beat a wide path around any works by and for cishets involving trans characters. However it would be wonderful to have stories in our own voices with complex characters which challenge viewers to rethink their own relationships with the structural injustices binding our society together. Perhaps some appealing psychopathic antagonists, seductively evil side characters, and morally gray protagonists? Something like the delightfully unapologetic queer feminist streaming adaptation of Killing Eve would be great! Definitely go check it out if you haven’t seen it yet!