I’d finally donate to Wikipedia. And NPR. So much so that both of them won’t have to ever ask me for money ever again.

Not quite mind control, but I’d like the ability to blast common sense into morons minds by looking at them. Like a psychic mind dart that says, “maybe this line has a purpose and I should get in queue instead of trying to force my way in from the outside” or “maybe I should listen to the sign that says ‘don’t put your kid on a railing above tiger enclosure.’”

Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally, muthafuckahs!!

I have 30 duck duck go tabs open rn. I keep trying to reduce them, but I feel like they’re important to keep up.