I found I had aphantasia as a flow-on from something else I was investigating.

I have known for a long time that I had trouble watching movies because I lose track of who the characters are. My wife started watching Married at first sight and I got really confused with it. 3 of the ladies had the same shaped face, hair style and colour and I could not tell them apart at all. I searched on Google to find out why and found about Prosopagnosia.

Reading about this it mentioned it was common with aphantasia. I kept reading and it sounded more and more like fiction. This idea that people could see images, make sounds, imagine touch and actually feel it all. I asked my wife if it made sense to her, and she just looked at me like I was mad.

Doing more reading since, I’ve discovered I have SDAM as well as autism. Sometimes life would be amazing if we got an instruction manual for our minds.

It’s different to that, I experience emotions and can express them in real time. However, after if I think back to a memory the emotion is there but like a line written in a book. ‘I was having fun and happy…’, but thinking about that memory will not give me a happy feeling. Talking with my wife she can re-experience the emotion when she recalls a memory.

My memories are like lines of knowledge in a book, everything is a fact and stored as such. It makes me amazing at remembering knowledge, facts and how to do things.

I know lots of stories about my kids as they’re growing up, and yet I cannot recall/remember what they looked like as little kids. I do recognise them most of the time in photos.

I have no minds eye at all. There are no voices in my head aside from mine that I can control, no pictures, feelings or other senses.

I pick at my fingers as well, generally when I’m tired or stressed.

Best is so subjective.

I am running pivpn, pihole, all the arrs, jellyfin, gitea and rundeck.

The are so many bad actors in superstonk and other gme subs they do not want anyone to move or splinter off.

Keep making noise in there and people will start moving over.