I’m going to have to download an app to use my zippers, aren’t I?

I was a huge fan of the original, and I have to say, they did a great job with this. The things I enjoy about it may not matter to you, though.

Neapolitan

I might give it a try.

De Beers did it with diamond engagement rings as well.

Galileo would like a word.

It’s when you pee in someone’s mouth during a blowie.

Any port in a storm, I always say.

I’ve always been afraid of being killed by a drunk driver, or dying while at work. Now both of those things can happen at the same time.

If this is another attempt to get me to stare into a laser, I’m going to say “Fool me once.”

Good thing the US has free healthcare, or else this could be seen as a tactic to drive profits up for CEO’s.

Microplastics weren’t enough, let’s give the sealife macroplastics.

No volume, vibrate, led, or push notifications. If you want my attention badly enough, call. And I will screen the call and text you back at my convenience. I will not be on a leash. Now excuse me while I doomscroll for 2 to 17 hours.

For the cats, at least. I wouldn’t recommend doing it for yourself. I learned that the hard way.

My cats will be about to throw up, so I’ll slide a paper towel under them, and they will try to move to get back to the floor.

You’re absolutely right, as that cat will puke in the most inconvenient spot.

Some rocks have an invisible field around them. If you pass metal through this field, you can make your hand tingle.

True, but most of the oppressors are boomers.

Weak men created hard times. Thanks, boomers.