I still use the song “Operator Plays a Little Ping Pong” from the Neverhood OST as my ringtone. Never fails to amuse.

Meanwhile, the 1.5m Germans…

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I’m lucky enough to live in Europe where Chartreuse is still pretty easy to get. Plenty of online shops to order from, about 45 € a bottle.

I really do like Velvet Falernum. It’s great in a Chartreuse Swizzle, which currently is my favorite drink:

• 1 oz pineapple juice
• ¾ oz lime juice
• 1 ½ oz green Chartreuse
• ½ oz Velvet Falernum

I realized I am not trans but incredibly envious of hot women and their ability to have sex whenever they like. WHENEVER they like. That sometimes makes me dream of being a woman, having this privilege to act all decent but blow and fu** as often as I please.

But then I realize that as an ugly middle aged fuck, my biggest fantasy always was being sexually attractive (at least a little bit), so I keep searching the web for porn that fuels this fantasy, quietly weeping inside and pathetically wanking my way to my grave.

Not trying to compare these two things, but as a German it always stroke me as odd that many Americans will go to any lengths in order to defend their right to bear arms, but they all totally accept the fact that there’s not a single highway in the US without a speed limit.

In Germany, it seems to be the other way round. Noone really cares that guns are strictly regulated but most people will fiercely oppose the introduction of speed limits with the same level of fanaticism of American gun nuts.

If you were a refugee from 9gag like me, you would probably think differently. That place is filled with racist memes.

He’s gonna run for president some time in the future, mark my words. And he’s gonna be a lot worse than Trump.

Who the f*** dares to downvote a word my brother invented when he was 7?

Bettdeckenbezugsschonersonnenblumenmusterwebfehler.