harmonea

Are there some women who have higher standards than they, themselves, live up to - sure. But that’s not what makes an incel.

An incel is someone who believes:

1. People of my preferred gender kind of suck, mostly
2. Despite mostly sucking, people of my preferred gender tend to have high standards <-- you are here
3. Those high standards exclude me, and I think that’s unfair; it makes me angry that they won’t give me the chance I deserve.
4. I’m tired of playing nice when none of them will give me the chance I deserve. I’ve written their entire gender off as trash, and my new hobby is constantly berating them.

People rarely say #3 and #4 out loud, so once you’re at #2 – which you are – people are going to start making some assumptions.

And yes, there are some women past #3 and #4 themselves, sure. We’ve all heard the occasional “men are pigs,” and that kind of intolerance shouldn’t be accepted no matter who it comes from. But it’s absolutely not many/most of us, and if you think so, you’re either being overly critical or surrounding yourself with the wrong kinds of friends - both of which are on you and show you need to de-incel your thinking before you go off the deep end.

No way. Why should OP change? He’s not the one who sucks.

The key word is “disorder” though.

Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time, just like everyone has minor bouts of depression or invasive compulsions. Some non-disordered might even still experience them often.

Not everyone experiences these feelings pervasively to a degree it prevents them from socioeconomic success (making friends, going outside, finding and keeping a job, etc).

I can’t even tell most of you people apart.

Have you ever considered maybe that’s the point? Maybe people want to be judged for what they say instead of what image they had on hand when they signed up?

I uploaded a pic while playing with all the shiny features over here, but I was faceless on reddit for years after their introduction of profile pics, because I was there to have discussions, not build a profile. And the one I picked here? It tells you almost nothing about me unless you already know the character in the image, which only people who have a similar niche interest might.

This is like whining about women who don’t wear makeup, because “If you have the option why not just snazzy it up with a couple of images tiny bit of eyeshadow. I think it’s shows a bit of personality.” Sometimes the active decision not to bother with cosmetic features IS the personality you’re looking for.

Out of date tbh - It’s never a labyrinthine phone tree anymore, it’s a “natural speech” based menu that can never help with more than the most basic inquiries like “how much is my bill?” and still stubbornly refuses to put you in the queue for a real person.

My favorite version of what you just did is “English is tough; it can be understood through thorough thought, though.”

The phrase “what’s stopping you” implies we’re all interested, but hesitant.

This is a really, really bad assumption.

There’s something to be said for putting the blame where it belongs, which is likely not on you.

If your friend did something illegal that could harm others, it needed to be handled. Period. It’s a natural response that any decent person should take. The blame is not on the reporter, it’s on your friend for doing something so bad you felt compelled to report it.

And a bonus fuck him for putting you in that position where you now have to wrestle with self-doubt. That’s not a good friend, leaving you to bear the emotional burden of his actions.

Couple corrections on the rep technicalities: Upvotes didn’t count for rep at first, but they have for a few weeks now. For mastodon integration, upvote = favorite(like). Reduces and “downvotes” are not separate functions; a downvote IS a “reduce” and it’s always had a rep impact.

No app, but its native web interface is pretty competent.

If you know what lemmy is, you already know what kbin is. It’s essentially the same idea, just with more integration with the microblog side of the fediverse. Communities (“magazines”) also have a microblog tab which kbin users can post to, which is great for informal posts that don’t really warrant their own threads (“I tried (product) and I’m really enjoying it so far,” or “the latest episode of (show) was great,” or “(boss) in (game) is BS”). This tab also collects posts from mastodon users that use hashtags defined by magazine mods.

The largest instance is at kbin.social, though it might be best to spread out a bit; kbin is still pretty new and there’s been a rush to the main dev’s server in the snoopocalypse.

Secure, self-hosted services take knowledge to set up. Everyone wants a plug-and-play solution.

it’s just a way to easily disagree with someone without having to go into depth in the comments.

This is literally not what downvotes were ever meant to be for.

Downvotes on a main post = This post doesn’t fit this community.

Downvotes in comments = This post is off-topic, spreading misinformation or hate, and/or is actively hindering discussion (insults, assholery, etc).

Everyone has a bad day now and then. It sounds like a lot is eating at you. You might be dealing with more than your fair share people who haven’t gotten the help they need to learn why they’re twats and how it hurts them and everyone around them. I know I was a worse person until I figured out how I got the way I was a few years ago; it took me til the back half of the 30s to start to be better.

I hope you find some peace for yourself.

People are individuals, all going through their own journeys. You might grow and change for the better if you’re able to figure out how to be the best you, or you might change for the worse if made bitter by a life where it feels like no one is on your side and you have to take your due since it will never be given.

The important thing is: (1) People are twats for a reason, and (2) You can’t fix those reasons for other people and make them less twatty, so the only thing you can control is how you handle less than ideal interactions. (Tip: most well-adjusted people don’t jump to “lose hope in humanity”; the fact that you have means there’s work you can do here.)

See, the problem here is that you’re treating an off-the-cuff casual explanation as a “thesis.” Please don’t bring this absurd habit over here, where people have to feel compelled to cover absolutely every interpretation and hedge every outlier for fear of getting nitpicked to hell and back. Literally no one enjoyed that environment.

The presence or absence of that single word doesn’t change the fact that nothing OP said was wrong eh ;P

So I think super like is misleading

It’s literally not. Over here, on top of the “repost to your profile under your boosts section” functionality it’s intended to have, it also counts as 2x rep for the poster. It really, truly is also a “super-like.”

You’re not wrong, but running Linux directly correlates to more time spent on “tech forums in general,” so it’s still a bigger problem with that OS than others imo.

Some cats are just big, my dude. I’ve got an 8-month old Ragamuffin who’s already 13 lbs / 6 kg. He’s expected to grow past 20, it’s normal for his breed.

I got tired of everything taking so much effort. I was almost always able to eventually wrangle what I wanted out of the OS, but every change I wanted to make and thing I wanted to try needed so much searching and learning. I wanted stuff that just worked, even if it was “dumber.”

That, and some parts of the community I ran into were really prickly. One that was especially memorable: I was asking for help on a big-ish project with a lot of followers and helpers and didn’t expect the lead dev to answer my question, but when he did, he felt the need to make a snide as hell comment about how I have no business being there if I’m going to forget to start a service. On top of the exhaustion I was already feeling, I had a massive moment of “okay my guy, I guess I’ll just fucking leave then.”

Anyway, it just feels better being a poweruser on windows. I know enough to keep it clean, safe, and slim (like using powershell to disable the bits they don’t expose to a settings UI, for example) – to truly admin my machine – without having to work so hard for it day in and day out.