goat isn’t simulated…

Russia is so glorious and advanced that even their three-day invasions last over 300× longer!

I almost feel like I’m being contrarian by asking this, though it isn’t my intent: your alternatives sound great at first blush, but how do you intend that those alternatives are enforced? Does that lead into your estimated >1% of offenders?

I like “infintiny” as a replacement for “infinitesimal”

If trees aren’t real, how can our birds be real?

…I am so sorry

The birthday problem fits into this somehow, but I can’t quite get there right now. Something like an inverse birthday problem to illustrate how, even though the probability of two monkeys typing the same letter rises quickly as more monkeys are added to the mix, and at a certain point (n+1, where n is “possible keystrokes”) it is inevitable that at least two monkeys will key identically, the inverse isn’t true.

If you have 732 people in a room, there’s no guarantee that any one of them was born on August 12th.

There’s another one that describes this better but it escapes me.

We’re gonna need a bigger sedan…

Is that supposed to be the strange insult?

Just a small, pointless nitpick that doesn’t matter, but made me smile because of the implication:

It should be “home turf” not “home terf”. But the latter is probably just as true as the former.

Because people like this have no platform. They have no plan. They screech and wail, as if caterwauling is panacea.

“Fix the climate!”

“End homelessness!”

“Stop the genocide!”

But when pressed as to how to effect these changes, they almost invariably resort to maligning your morals, denigrating your doubts, and calumniating your civility.

Wherever he is, he can fucking stay there.

Damn, did I touch a nerve?

Sounds like a case of the crayon-eater calling the mouth-breather stupid…

Don’t talk about fight club?

DON’T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB?

You can also 68 something if it becomes available again, like a reverse 86. For instance: the kitchen runs out of Brussels sprouts and 86’s them, but someone completes an emergency produce run to the local market and preps enough for the rest of the night, so now they’re 68.

Buffalo buffalo buffalo homo Homo sapiens sapiens?

So when Lord Carnarvon sent Howard Carter into the Valley of the Kings with his team…

…that was the Invasion of the Body Snatchers?

You’d need to limit the capacity to vote on credibility to people who are members of the community. If you haven’t joined, you can’t make a judgment about what is or isn’t a good faith post, but your own post can be voted by members. Rather than being attached to just the user, it would probably be better if it were referenced to the user per community. Even so, it’s essentially karma, and could probably be gamed.

Otherwise, you’ve just reinvented upvotes.

But there is…