You’re my favorite writer. Happy to see you’re still alive!

They still have the McRib in Taiwan

TIL Grimace is supposed to be a taste bud

There’s no joke, are you familiar with clapter?

That would make too much sense, it would be better if they demanded that Super Mario gives up his Japanese citizenship

Basically Jersey Shore

I didn’t read what you said but I like it, everyone gets a license plate on bluesky.

Good, I’m tired of this American bullshit system

CPU = Chief Party Unicorn

You two should move in together!

I’m in the same boat, adobe can get fucked

No, that’s lightly colored blood. Mostly on toilet paper. We’re looking for dark red blood here.

You should start making ads for your children if you really want them to reject the messages. You can record the ads with your phone together with your partner. Here are a couple of loose ideas.

“I drank out of the milk carton, so my parents sent me up state. Don’t be like Tom, use a glass!”

“I drew on the walls, now I live in the garage. Creativity has its place, and it’s not on the living room walls.”

“I refused to clean up my toys, now my only toy is the lawn mower. Every year hundreds of children are sentenced to needles chores, be smart, clean up after yourself or we’ll clean up your act.”

“I didn’t listen to my parents, now I’m a homeless bum with a pokemon addiction. Not listening? Not even once.”

No, you’re being facetious. Go sit in the corner.

Absolutely not, we’re talking about a man who serves fast food to athletes.

Needless to say, you helpt him junk the computers and then you made banana bread together.

I wonder what would happen if you learned to read and speak Chinese. Would every stroke of a character have a different color, would it just be characters that have different colors? Also how would tones influence colors? Please learn Chinese and report back.

Thank you for your service

“This is not good! Worlds are colliding! George is getting upset!”

-George Costanza

Seinfeld “The Pool Guy” - Season 7, Episode 8 (1995)

That’s some choice rhetoric. Hell, even the sewer mutants are going to be voting republican.