Erratic Deutsche Bahn services make our commutes a misery. Luckily, their meaningless announcements are an art form
My favourite excuse is an expression that might one day be emblematic of contemporary Germany. I hear Deutsche Bahn wants staff to stop using it, but it can’t banish it from our minds. Verzögerungen im Betriebsablauf – “operational delays” – is meaningful and meaningless in a way that only the German language allows. One day it might even become one of those golden words co-opted into the English language – like zeitgeist or schadenfreude. (Let’s retire Blitz, a word that is jaded and overused in sport, politics and beyond.)
Verzögerungen im Betriebsablauf is the magic phrase for not getting anywhere fast while also suggesting everything is full steam ahead. It is sinister in a beautiful way. It is a phrase Kafka might use if he were writing today, a perfect description of a situation where no one can do anything but everyone is busy.
Last weekend, a few friends of mine and I made a trip halfway through Europe. I took the plane because I couldn’t get a ticket on the train any more, the others took the night jet (Austrian train service driving through the night with beds on board).
My 1.5h flight was delayed, and it was a big drama with connecting flights etc. It was by 5 minutes.
My friends’ route was through Germany. Besides them needing 14h according to the regular schedule, they had a delay of 3h. There was no special accident or anything, the train just had to stop on the track a few times and in some sections it went at walking speed, probably because the track is in such a bad shape.
This is such a miserable experience. The price was about the same, btw.
Tbh if it wasn’t for horrendous delays I’d still prefer a 14 hour night train over a 1.5 hour flight that in reality is usually a 5 hour test of my ability to kill time waiting. I’d rather get on at 8 pm, watch a movie, fall asleep, get up, have breakfast in the bistro car and get off at 10 am. Especially if it’s the same price. Usually night trains are considerably more expensive if you desire any kind of comfort or privacy.