This issue really evokes my emotions, because of how much I love sports. I think sports are a vitally important part of the human experience. I guess dance is, too, but we’re not talking about dance, in and of itself.
Dance isn’t a sport. Period. Ever. Nobody can change my mind about this. Dance is potentially expressive, beautiful, socially useful, entertaining, etc. But it IS NOT A FUCKING SPORT.
Only sports should be in the goddamned Olympics, and shoving non-sports into the mix is shameful and disgusting. It’s a wad of spit in the face of every great athlete who has ever taken the field. It’s a disgrace to the Ancient Greek tradition that the Olympics are attempting to continue.
I don’t give a fuck that there are already competitions for breakdancing. Or ballroom dancing. People can hold competitions for whatever they want. I actually think competitions shouldn’t be held for entirely subjective and artistic activities, but people can do whatever the fuck they want.
But not in the fucking Olympics. This shit makes me sick.
And before you start pointing out the other subjective, judged events that are already in the Olympics: THEY SHOULD ALL BE REMOVED, TOO. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. NONE OF THEM BELONG.
No more gymnastics (rhythmic or otherwise). No more figure skating and ice dancing. No more skateboarding. No more surfing. No more synchronized swimming. No more freestyle skiing. No more diving. No more BMX. No more ANYTHING that requires judging.
You might browbeat me into admitting that some of those subjectively judged activities are sports, but you will never convince me that they belong in the Olympics.
Olympic sports should be restricted to those which are determined by means of a clock, a measuring tape, the accumulation of OBJECTIVELY scored points, or a physical beating.
Even some of those should be on the chopping block. Some of the points-scoring events are too subjective. If a sport relies too much on fallible human judging, it should be excluded.
The vast majority of the events should be arbitrated only by the cold, merciless, absolute judgment of the clock or the measuring tape. Therein lies the truest purity of sport.
Honestly, the best thing to do would be to reset everything to the REAL tradition of the Olympics. Almost nothing, other than running, jumping, and fighting. With an absolute minimum of rules to get in the way, and all the athletes competing in the nude. Just sandals on their feet. No space-age materials to help anyone. Nothing for anyone to hide. Just human muscle and determination, on display at the greatest possible level.
But it’s all a forlorn dream. Instead, we have to have our stomachs turned, as a bunch of revolting little shitheads wobble and headspin.
The ancient Olympians are going to be spinning in their fucking graves.
EDIT: YES, I AM AWARE THAT THE FIRST COUPLE MODERN OLYMPICS FEATURED NON-SPORT ACTIVITIES, LIKE SCULPTURE AND PAINTING. THAT DOESN’T CHANGE MY VIEW. INCLUDING ART IN THE MODERN OLYMPICS WAS A RIDICULOUS MISTAKE. JUST BECAUSE IT WAS DONE BEFORE DOESN’T MEAN IT SHOULD BE DONE NOW.
This is a very thorough and well thought out post.
I couldn’t disagree with it more regarding the modern olympics (I think there’s a lot of value in subjectivity judged sports as well as objectively judged), but I respect your reasoning, and would love to see a revival of the ancient olympics like you propose. So why not both? Keep the modern commercial games their own thing (because at this point there’s too much money in it for anyone to stop it) but bring back the traditional Greek games.
Completely separate thought: which category does boxing fall into? Matches are often won through points given by judges. Actually that’s the same with wrestling, a traditional olympic event.
OP repeatedly attacks boxing while praising pankration. The rationale? Pankration “doesn’t have scoring,” which is a patently false claim based on my 3 minutes of googling.
It absolutely is not, it’s nonsensical rambling that had no need to be longer than a paragraph or two.
What he just wrote is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in his rambling, incoherent post was he even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the fediverse is now dumber for having read to it. I award him no points, and may God have mercy on his soul.
Just so you know, I have reread my own dumb shit, and I realize it’s pretty dumb.
But, ya know, this is the “Unpopular Opinion” community. Not the “construct the most airtight and perfect argument that could ever be delivered before the Supreme Court” community. Take that into account, before you roast me to death, pal.
Oh, I was quoting Billy Madison for funsies, I didn’t want to roast you to death.
Oh, right. I actually think I might have gotten away with never seeing all of that movie. I think I saw it on TV with commercials one time, and fell asleep during it.
Not because it was boring. I was a young fella and I did that “I’m going to stay up for 43 hours and only crash when I have to” kinda thing.
No worries, Lemmybro.
Thanks. Please tell all this to the guy who keeps insisting that he has rhetorically owned me, because I’m not following the dictionary definition of “sports.” I’m defining my own terms, as to what a “pure sport” is. There is nothing wrong with that, from a linguistic or rhetorical basis. And yet, he thinks that he can just win the argument by saying “you’re not using the dictionary definition of sports, so you’re stupid lol.”
It’s pathetic.
As for boxing, it’s a whole awful thing. Emotionally, I want boxing to just go back to the way it was in the classical era. No points, just fighting until someone can’t fight anymore. But intellectually, I realize that concussions exist. On the other hand, that means the modern version, with the soft gloves and head protection is actually WORSE, because it trades a less bloody fight for a more dangerous and harmful one.
The folks who have reintroduced bare-knuckle boxing might have the best option going. It’s as potentially bloody as ever, but the fighters have to protect their hands, so they can’t break each other’s brains with full-power swings. It’s basically an endurance thing. Take any and all point-scoring out of that equation, and you’d have the version that I’d like to see in the Olympics.
Some people are so desperate for a gold medal they’d die in the ring before giving up. Need that time/round limit.
That DID happen in the original Olympics, and the Greeks were cool with it. I mean, I’m not necessarily cool with it…but they really were.
Yeah not acceptable today.
Yep. People have degenerated to a disgusting state of weakness.
That’s not Olympics then, that’s a death match.
True enough. I don’t actually want that, at the end of the day.