I’m guessing this is riffing on Vance’s visit to a doughnut shop, where to the complete indifference of the employees, he ended up asking for ‘whatever makes sense’. It looks like he said the same to a barber, who - not knowing what he was on about - gave him that terrible haircut.
The man can’t even get fucking donuts. Like WTF, go in with a plan and get the fuck out!
I can walk into any donut shop and I already know what I want. If you can’t do that I suspect you’re some kind of foreign agent who isn’t familiar with what you might find in a donut shop.
BTW, it’s apple fritters, and I’ll have three, thanks.
Yes, three of your best glazy, sprinkled ones frau shopkeep.
That three finger thing is bullshit. In UK/Germany, people do whatever not some rote thing
To my eternal dismay, all the donut shops in my town stopped making buttermilk bars, so I have to go in with a “stretch” donut and have a safety donut (old-fashioned glazed) as my most likely order.
My favorite bakery stopped making their bear claws.
It was a cinnamon roll with home made maple frosting.
Now I don’t go there, nothing is the same without my claws.
The hell is a buttermilk bar? I am intrigued 👀
It’s like an old-fashioned (usually glazed) more in a bar shape than a traditional donut shape. I would assume that they have buttermilk in the recipe, but I don’t don’t really know the specifics other than than they have a bit more of a “sour cream” tang than a regular old-fashioned.
Nah bro, I want to be delighted. What is your specialty. What’s the best thing you make? Got anything weird? If it’s just standard fare or a chain place, I let the Whims of Fate guide my hand.
If you got’em, I’ll take a Bismarck (or Boston Creme, whatever you want to call them, the chocolate covered cream filled one). If not, maybe you’re the type of donut shop that also has cinnamon rolls? No?
Just a coffee, then, please.
That place is just a building made to increase sadness.
Ingloriously genius post!
Exactly what came to mind. Didn’t see your comment before mine.
mine makes the best pink with rainbow sprinkles. they’re raspberry.
Tractor wheel for me thank you
In case you forgot, trump doesnt hire anyone with a brain. The few that snuck in last time didnt stick around for the firework show
My headcanon is that they picked Vance because his name sounds like Pence and that made it easier for Trump to remember
He’s in deep with the Project 2025 folks. He’s there to make sure everything goes according to plan.
Or in lieu of a plan, just pick out a donut that looks good to you. How out-of-touch must one be, to be incapable of even pretending to enjoy sugary fried bread?
Getting a dozen glazed and a dozen assorted is pretty typical for a doughnut order. No one wants to wait for the person at the counter to lost of a dozen different doughnuts.
Yeah, but he didn’t even have that ready to go. If that’s what you’re getting, you should know it before you walk thru the door. He seemed to be making it up on the spot.
And if you got a list, good, I’d rather know you know what you want, rather than awkwardly trying to make small talk while failing at the simple task of donut ordering (all for some nonsense PR campaign).
Agreed, but I find that most donut shops either have fantastic glazed and their assorted is bad, or vice versa.
Much prefer one or the other.
But also… Just buy a round of donuts for everyone standing in line would be the best bet for making a good impression (out of his own pocket, not from the campaign funds)
“Just whatever makes sense”
“Give me your most normal human food order.”
Totally not weird, right?
JD: I saw some dudes on TikTok that were showing off amazing advances in toupee technology
Barber: I got you fam
Vote for me so I can take away your health insurance!
How long have you been here?
It’s my third month of chemo
Ok, good.
How longs this Hospital been around?
I can’t afford to pay for my treatments.
Ok, good.
vance: Why’d you wait so long and let cancer get this bad before getting treated?
Cancer Patient: Because I kept getting denied from insurance and we can’t afford it on our own…
vance: Can’t afford? I’d just walk into a hospital, I get free healthcare for life for my entire family.
Cancer Patient: …and we had to sell our home just to cover additional costs
vance: ok, good. that couch looks comfy
He is talking to the gurney.
And saying “See, gurney? We’ve her best interest at heart”.
The cluelessness is embarrassing.
“…okay?”
Brilliant
Didn’t Walz recently say something along the lines of ‘imagine them ordering something they wouldn’t even know how to do it’? does anyone remember that from a speech?
