I just got banned from linux@lemmy.ml, which seems to be the biggest Linux community out there.

For context, it was about the recent Vaxerski incident, where I shared my personal opinion about the whole gender stuff. I wasn’t even trying to be hurtful against anyone, just shared my 2 cents in an already ongoing conversation.

Sure, ine might not agree with my opinion, and I don’t agree with others, and this is totally normal. But at least we should be able to have sane and respectful conversations where no one is insulting each other, or anyone else… without having a mod intervening into the conversation

So to all the mods out there: Your personal opinion does not give you the right to delete comments and block users, just because their opinions don’t align with yours!

    • Lupec@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      As soon as I saw it was about “the whole gender stuff” I knew it had to be some garbage bigoted take lol

    • ZeroCool@slrpnk.net
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      9 months ago

      Lmao. So OP is unwilling to show others the simple courtesy of respecting their gender identity then comes running here to whine about dIsReSpeCt because their bigoted hot take got them a three day ban from a community. 🙄

      Edit: Ooooh and they’re on a three day old account too? In that case I give it an hour or two before they realize they aren’t getting any sympathy here and run to r/RedditAlternatives to complain about “censorship” on Lemmy and lament the lack of freeze peach reddit alternatives.

      • adONis@programming.devOP
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        9 months ago

        Regarding my account… I was previously on lemmy.world, (under the same username) but moved to programming.dev since world defederated from piracy@dbzer0, and I didn’t want to have multiple accounts.

        So yeah, it’s new in that manner, but I’m surely not a troll.

    • dariusj18@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      The funniest part is that privileged people get pissy about being called by their title all the time, it does sometimes materialize in jokes, but that’s still punching up.

      As a fun experiment I misgender bigots until they got mad about it. It doesn’t take long.

    • adONis@programming.devOP
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      9 months ago

      As I said, this is my opinion, I didn’t impose my opinion onto others and i certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with me.

      But I don’t think a perma-ban from the whole community is the right answer here.

  • Ategon@programming.dev
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    9 months ago

    It looks like you were temp banned from the linux community for 3 days

    The comment you made was transphobia which goes against the programming.dev code of conduct. I suggest reading the comment of the user who replied to you and learning how to respect people more

    This comment

    does not qualify as a “respectful conversations where no one is insulting each other, or anyone else”

    • adONis@programming.devOP
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      9 months ago

      thx, didn’t know I could look it up, and also didn’t receive a notification.

      • Ategon@programming.dev
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        9 months ago

        Yeah lemmy currently doesn’t send notifications about moderation actions

        Some mod teams add it in through manually dming (which usually will happen here if someone on the admin team is warning, banning, etc. you (apart from site bans which the user wouldn’t be able to access their messages from) and its not just an obvious spammer or bot) or code their own systems to notify about actions

        Everything’s viewable in the modlog though and you can filter by yourself to see all actions made relating to you

  • missingno@kbin.social
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    9 months ago

    Refusing to treat people with the barest minimum of respect is not a “personal opinion”, it’s behavior that no space should tolerate.

    • adONis@programming.devOP
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      9 months ago

      barest minimum of respect

      what’s that even supposed to mean? If I talk to someone like I do with everyone else, without changing my tone/or opinion based on whatever race/religion/identity they go by, then I certainly am treating everyone with the same amount of respect.

      We’ve lived for millennia now, and I don’t recall a single book where a person of the past was mentioned in addition with their pronoun, in the sense of “____ was a writer/artist/mathematician in the late 1800s who went by they/them”… etc.

      We’re introducing unnecessary complications into an already complicated society we live in.

      • ZeroCool@slrpnk.net
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        9 months ago

        Have you ever wondered why that is? LGBTQ and non-binary people existed in the 19th century too, they just weren’t safe to live as they chose to publicly. And when it was mentioned in literature it was typically couched in euphemisms of the period. I understand that you’d clearly prefer all these people go back in the closet rather than be inconvenienced by having to acknowledge their existence, but are you really daft enough to think this is something dreamed up in the 2010s? For fuck sake…

          • ZeroCool@slrpnk.net
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            9 months ago

            Yes, homosexuality and non-gender conforming individuals have existed throughout human history and across all cultures with varying social attitudes toward them. You know, you’re quite opinionated for someone with no demonstrable understanding of the topic, but I suppose that explains a lot.

            • adONis@programming.devOP
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              9 months ago

              You’re talking as if transgenderism and homosexuality (and their problems) emerged in the 19th century. That’s why I asked you about the other centuries?

              Pederasty was a socially acceptable thing back in 600 b.c amongst the Etruscans, for example.

              • ZeroCool@slrpnk.net
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                9 months ago

                I neither said nor implied any such thing. You brought up books written in the 1800s which is why my initial reply specifically focused on the 19th century. You’re either dumb or you’re here in bad faith, but based on your last sentence, being a weak attempt to shift the conversation from LGBTQ and non-binary people to pederasts, which is straight out of the right-wing playbook, it’s safe to assume the latter. So we’re done here.

          • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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            9 months ago

            This wiki page, not itself as an original source but as a collection of original papers in the references for you to peruse at your leisure is a great starting point. But your question is a bit like the “Did you know Aristotle never said ‘Thank You’? Mostly because he didn’t speak English.” Joke. You are expecting modern accommodations and language in texts from a different era that would have used unfamiliar forms or language like ancient Egypt that had a 3rd gender “sekhet”.

      • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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        9 months ago

        What’s up with people changing their names after marriage or adoption too‽

        Why does everyone refer to her as Marie Curie instead of Maria Skłodowska? It’s just soo unnecessarily complicated to have to use a different name than the one assigned at birth.

        • adONis@programming.devOP
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          9 months ago

          And yet no one is referring to Kim as Kim Kardashian West, but still Kim Kardashian.

          • JaymesRS@literature.cafe
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            9 months ago

            Because that’s how she’s told people she prefers to be called, that’s how she still brands her social media.

            People respecting somebody else’s choice for how to refer to them is literally the example that is the worst for your argument.

  • Cyber Yuki@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Okay you’re being a bigot. You know why? Because people aren’t demanding to be called “your highness”. They are just asking to be called with their preferred probouns. Putting neo pronouns aside, it’s not a heavy burden to be called he / she / it / they.

    And this is the internet! The are no bodies, only usernames. Why do you care if a person claiming to be a girl demands to be called a she? Oh my fucking god,what a scandal! The oppression imposed upon you, a free citizen, demanding that you have to use a pronoun different than “he” on the internet! The world is doomed! 😱 /s

    What you’re really asking for is the “right” to harass trans people (by misgendering them) because you don’t like them and abhor the idea of women having something extra down there. (it’s not like they’re plotting to force sex you, just leave them be, okay?) Not only that, you’re so obsessed with hating them that you went out of your way to post your biased opinion ON A LINUX FORUM.

    You’re being a transphobic asshole, and the mods were perfectly right in banning you.

    Just accept that there are different people in the world. If you have a problem with that, maybe it’s you who needs professional help.

    • adONis@programming.devOP
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      9 months ago

      Lol, that LINUX FORUM was literally about that topic. And I just participated in an already ongoing conversation which I got caught up on.

  • jordanlund@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Generally, and I can only speak for myself, but GENERALLY, the way it works is someone takes offense at your comment and reports it.

    That report goes to the mods of that community along with the Admins of your instance, in your case programming.dev.

    Any action taken by the mods or admins is then recorded in the modlog.

    In your case, you got a 3 day ban:

    https://lemmy.world/modlog?page=1&userId=7110660

    “Rule 1 - No bigotry - including racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or xenophobia. Code of Conduct.”

    And, yeah, your comment hits that rule. I would have removed it from my communities as well.

    Ban-worthy? Not for a single comment for ME at least. If it looked like you were engaging in a pattern of behavior or trolling, then yeah, that’s a ban.

    • adONis@programming.devOP
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      9 months ago

      Transphobic leaves a lot of room for interpretation. Let’s take islam as an example… btw, I’m a muslim.

      If I’d say something along these lines “It’s absurd that we live in a society where people feel the urge to tell me to greet them with ‘sallam alleykum’”.

      Would that be islamophobic?

      And yes, I agree, If I were to go around and just write these types of comments on every occasion, sure, that’d be a rightful ban.

      • loobkoob@kbin.social
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        9 months ago

        “It’s absurd that we live in a society where people feel the urge to tell me to greet them with ‘sallam alleykum’”.

        There’s already a huge difference between what happened and your example here. Your example is “people saying you must do X” . What happens when it comes to gender is people asking, “please do not do X”.

        They’re not saying you must refer to them as, for instance, she/her, but rather asking that you do not refer to them as he/him/they/them/whatever. You’re free to just not use pronouns to refer to them at all if that suits you better - you can refer to them by name instead. You’re left with plenty of options and only a handful of restrictions.

        Your example, on the other hand, is completely restrictive; you must take this single course of action, and there are no alternatives.


        For what it’s worth, I do think we’re in a fairly transitional stage (ha) of how we as society deal with transgenderism. I think people being made to change their pronouns in order to feel comfortable is silly. Not because those people are silly - they’re just doing what they can to feel comfortable with the restrictions society has placed on them - but because society and language are silly.

        Why do we refer to people by gender at times when it’s completely irrelevant? Someone having a penis, or male hormones, or whatever other “masculine qualities”, is irrelevant 99% of the time when I refer to them as he/him. If I say, “Donald Trump? Yeah, he’s a corrupt idiot,” then why does him having a penis have any bearing on the language I use there?

        And why do we have such gendered roles in society? Why can’t men just wear dresses and make-up and link the colour pink and still identify as men? Why can’t women cut their hair short and wear baggy clothes and like engineering projects and lifting weights at the gym and still identify as women? I guarantee that if we could remove all those kinds of gender associations, you’d see a lot less trans people.

        People transition because who they are and what they like, and what society says they have to be (based on their gender) are at odds with each other, and it’s literally easier for them to change gender in order to be allowed to be themselves than to change society. Being trans isn’t some kind of personal failing; it’s a failure of society to accommodate people who deviate even slightly from its rigid roles and expectations.

        The ideal future, such as I see it, is for there to be no trans people because no-one feels a need to transition - they can just feel comfortable and accepted as they are. But until then, you need to recognise that there’s a societal issue and stop being a part of it. It takes such a small amount of effort on your part to use the pronouns someone requests, or to avoid using pronouns at all, and it makes such a huge difference to them to be gendered properly. So just be a decent, respectful person and accommodate their wishes and stop making their life worse.

        • Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          9 months ago

          This is certainly an interesting topic. There are men who are comfortable wearing dresses and wearing makeup and all that, just as there are women who are comfortable with cutting their hair short and wearing baggy clothes and all that. It’s also true that those people are sometimes harassed and called “eggs” by people who are ostensibly trans-friendly (especially fem-presenting guys).

          But I don’t think that that is equivalent to the trans experience. I assume you’re not trans, correct me if I’m wrong, but dysphoria is a real thing that for many people is very deeply related to physical body parts, and your theory just doesn’t account for that at all. I don’t think that your average fem-presenting guy wants to take HRT to get breasts, let alone go to the extra length of getting bottom surgery and get vaginoplasty. There’s clearly something more about dysphoria than it just being a matter of what they like differing from what’s socially acceptable, unless you broaden it so wide as “liking having breasts or a vagina” or “liking having a penis”, and even that is a stretch because dysphoria is a very visceral sense of wrongness in one’s body that goes much deeper than just preferring a different body part.

          Not all dysphoria is physical, either. It can relate to misgendering, or any number of societal things that aren’t necessarily related to just what we’re “allowed” to do. Frankly, unless gender is outright abolished and there are no longer distinctions between genders or even societal differentiation between sexes, I don’t see it going away. And even in a post-gender world, I imagine there would still be trans people (perhaps by another name) who experienced physical dysphoria.

          Your theory also doesn’t account for trans people who present as would be socially acceptable for their assigned gender at birth, and have interests that are similar to their AGAB, but still identify as trans and even may experience dysphoria.

          All in all, while I appreciate your conclusion to support trans people, I disagree with your reasoning. I don’t think that being trans is merely a result of one’s likes not being in line with societal norms. I think it goes much deeper than that, and can’t be reduced to such a simple cause.

        • adONis@programming.devOP
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          9 months ago

          The islamic example is a 1:1 representation of the comment I made, which I was banned for, as a reply to the previous OP talking about “false equivalence”

          Actually, when I read your comment you’re exactly saying what I meant to say, but admittedly in a much more polite manner.

          I fully agree with you… everyone should be able to do what fulfils them and makes them happy no matter their gender, without being judged by society.

      • MrPibb@lemmynsfw.com
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        9 months ago

        And this class is called, say it with me, a false equivalence argument. A false equivalence being when an equivalence is drawn between two subjects based on flawed or false logic.

        • adONis@programming.devOP
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          9 months ago

          Oh come on, seriously? … false equivalence? would you at least dare to explain why?

          • morphballganon@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            User loobkoob@kbin did so in their comment. You can simply not use pronouns. Your hypothetical doesn’t include a “just don’t say the thing” option.

  • ccunning@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    I wasn’t even trying to be hurtful

    Next time try to not be hurtful. Internalize the difference.

    we should be able to have sane and respectful conversations

    I agree but then some folks come along and fuck it up.

    So to all the mods out there: Your personal opiniondoes not give you the right to delete comments and block users, just because their opinions don’t align with yours!

    Absolutely it does. Their sub; their rules. Lemmy is not a democracy.

  • macniel@feddit.de
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    9 months ago

    Why do you think it’s absurd to use proper pronouns? No it’s not absurd, it’s just being a decent human being.

  • rah@feddit.uk
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    9 months ago

    we should be able to have sane and respectful conversations where no one is insulting each other, or anyone else

    Why should we?

    Your personal opinion does not give you the right to delete comments and block users, just because their opinions don’t align with yours!

    Actually it does. Just like IRC, the fediverse is not a democracy, it’s a dictatorship. As a user, you have no rights at all. You’re offered the privilege of being permitted to connect and participate. Don’t like it? Nobody cares. Go start your own server/network/whatever.

      • Dame @lemmy.ml
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        9 months ago

        Curious as to why your comment got downvoted. Are people saying dictatorships aren’t bad?

        • rah@feddit.uk
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          9 months ago

          In this context, the word “dictatorship” means something very different to what it means in general usage referring to the governance of nation states. OP’s comment seems like a silly effort to try and shoe-horn their favourite political subject into a thread where the subject doesn’t fit.

  • spujb@lemmy.cafe
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    9 months ago

    sorry buddy but you did transphobia. whether or not you are in the mood to label it as such that’s what it was.

    i have beef with power tripping mods as much as you but this is in no way an example of that.

    edit: also it was a three day ban? i have seen folks permabanned for similar. be thankful you are allowed to return, look inwards and do some self examination instead of complaining.